Select Page

Reassembling the Self

Earth arrow resting inside an open chest

And now the second task.

Forty-Nine remembers. But with memory comes fear — the terror of growth, the terror of comparison. To realize that the Self has changed — especially when that realization shatters a former identity into pieces — is disorienting at best.

With something akin to disgust, 49 throws the tome to the floor. And yet the chest holding the Earth arrow will now remain open forever. Forty-Nine turns toward the door, and this sets off a cascade of consequences.

Death is here.

Forty-Nine recoils from my unseen friend, choking on the smell. The stink of bitumen pours into the Reliquary, and 49 freezes in fear.

"Must you be so dramatic?" I ask. "It never makes this process any easier."

"Watch this," Death giggles. He races to the tome, snatches it up, and slams it into the central chest. Then he throws the lid down with a bang, causing 49 to startle and whirl back toward the reset scene.

"I don’t know if you do that to create a necessary moment of challenge for the iteration, or simply to irritate me," I say with forced impatience, "but now I have to work that much harder."

"It’s good for you," Death replies, with very little regard for my task. "It keeps you young."

"I don’t age."

"Neither do I," Death replies. "I suppose I simply enjoy being a little gruesome from time to time."

"If I had nostrils, I’d flare them in indignation."

"If I had a digestive tract, I’d give a shit. But I shouldn’t be vulgar — it might offend THEM."

"Who?"

"THEM!"

"Them who?"

"THEM!!! The ones peeking and clicking. Them. They’re watching us right now."

"Oh," I say. "You’re on one of those tirades again. I don’t know who you’re talking about when you speak this way."

"It doesn’t matter," Death replies. "They know I see them… You should hurry and help that one put the pieces back together."

Before I can respond, Death dissolves into mist and disappears. I look back to 49, but the door has closed, and I am alone in the Reliquary. I hurry through the doorway, catching up to give 49 subtle internal nudges to help reassemble the fragments. The sense of Self and purpose will be slightly different — slightly darker — but Archer_49 will learn to see this new reality as an even more accurate picture than the one before.